Parental authority is hard to enforce. “No” does not seem to mean much in contemporary American culture.
How do parents supervise homework, friends, internet, driving, spending, drug and alcohol exposure? How can you tell if your child is seeking normal separation from parents versus withdrawing into something more serious?
Children can’t learn from their mistakes if parents protect them from uncomfortable consequences of their choices. My expertise in setting up appropriate consequences helps restore balance in the family.
Adult children are as challenging in their way. We are experiencing a dramatic rise in unemployed adults, or divorced a children with their own families, moving back in with parents.
Setting appropriate limits enriches the life of everyone in the household.
Testimonial
My 2 daughters, now in their early 20’s, hated each other. I was monkey-in-the-middle and just couldn’t find the right thing to please them both. Candida saved our collective sanity, always willing to hear the story from all sides. I kept bringing more family members to her office as we learned how to be both honest and fair. – W (Chicago)
Relevant articles from my blog
Blended Families–Part VI– Parenting Your Own Children When You Remarry
Let’s start with: Lessons for Parenting Your Own Children When You Remarry.
1. Work to reduce your children’s feelings of loss as they share you with your new partner–and perhaps other children. Work to do this by continuing to spend time alone with them. Note 2 things: A. Your children will want as much exclusive time as you can give them–and, really, more. They may even see your special time as paving the way to return to single-parenthood, or even a reconciliation with your former spouse. Set limits, even though the kids will complain. If you make it clear that all the bellyaching in the world won’t change the situation, the kids will–eventually–give up. B. The times you spend with your children don’t need to be long in terms of minutes and hours. Just concentrating on them completely sometimes is all that’s important.
Teen Suicide – The Mobile Phone Has a Clue
Teen suicide–two words that should never appear next to each other. The alarming numbers of this terrifying occurrence have come to public attention during the pandemic. We think, No wonder; it’s bad for teens to be stuck inside with parents but not with friends–the opposite of the preferred teen menu.
Let’s not kid ourselves. Suicide rates have been rising amongst teens and young adults for a decade. In 2017 more than 6700 young people took their lives. In a 2018 survey of 15,000 high school students 7.4% reported having made an attempt during the previous 12 months.
For 10 to 24 year olds, suicides are 10.57 per 100,000 in 2017, up from 6.75 per 100,000 in 2007. Suicide is second only to accidents as the leading cause of death in that age group. (CDC data published Sept, 2020).
Could the rise of social media be one cause? Many parents and media pundits think so. An innovative study–the Mobile Assessment for the Prediction of Suicide (MAPS)–thinks the vast information from teens’ mobile devices might be used to help instead. This research is the work of Matthew Nock, the Harvard clinical psychologist who is lead author on the 2017 analysis.
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