Mediation is a process for resolving disputes so that involved parties can smile and shake hands (or elbow bump) when completed. Rather than a compromise,my goal in mediation is to meet the most important needs of each participant, needs sometimes even the participants are at first unaware of.
Mediation can only be successful when all parties involved are equally motivated. When you call me, I will request that the counterparty of the dispute arrange the first meeting. This strategy emphasizes the importance of my neutrality. Mediation is above all fair and balanced to all positions.
Sometimes a single session does the trick. For example, you move into a new house with an agreement that the sellers will leave the light fixtures and deck furniture, but they have failed to do so.
Disputes over wills, business partnerships, intellectual property, care of elderly parents or disabled siblings–these and other human challenges may require several sessions until all parties are satisfied.
Divorce mediation with children involved requires multiple sessions: parenting, division of assets and/or debts, and future planning. I ask parents to imagine situations when new romantic partners enter the children’s lives, one or both parents change or lose jobs, a child or parent has a serious physical or mental illness.
As a mediator my interest is not only to resolve a current conflict but to offer clients a model for getting their needs met in a cooperative manner.
Testimonial
The most important lesson Dr. Abrahamson taught us during our divorce mediation is that we couldn’t control the decisions the other parent made during his/her time with the kids. This was so hard to learn, but her patience and clarity helped us grow so that our children wouldn’t suffer. – L (Evanston, IL)
Relevant articles from my blog
Let’s Get Wonky: The Research on Mediation? Yup–It Really Works
There’s nothing I find more satisfying than believing in something–and then knowing that the research backs me up.
When it happens the other way it’s a total bummer.
But I happen to be in luck on the topic of mediation, for not only do I think it’s a better way to go through your divorce than an adversarial or litigated process–apparently studies find that, overall, it is a better approach. It’s really my lucky day.
Low-Conflict vs. High-Conflict Divorce: Why Mediate?
You’d always wanted to go with your ex-husband to Hawaii–you asked year after year, but the answer was always the same. “Sorry, hon, there’s just not enough money for a trip like that. You know business is rough. Maybe next year.”
But next year and next year and many more next years came–and the money was just never there.
And then, as you’re trying to come to terms with his leaving you, just walking out with the woman he “courted” while married to you, you discover that your soon-to-be ex will taking his affair partner to Hawaii.