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Using Marriage to Complete the Tasks of Adolescence

Finally I come to the last problem marriage structure [and note that there is an infinite number of ways in which these dynamics are played out–I’m just drawing the very broad outlines]: When a spouse utilizes marriage to complete the unfinished tasks that of adolescence. A common example is the use of marriage to separate from […]

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Marriages That Begin in Subterfuge

Susan* had always been agentic, had known from her visit to Cornell that she wanted to and would go there, had known from her initial interview with Price Waterhouse Coopers that she wanted to and would work there–and had known very shortly after meeting Chris that she wanted to and would marry him. Susan, it […]

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(image from http://www.my-counseling-site.com/codependence-counseling)

Rescue Marriages

It probably seemed pretty clear how the first problem marriage structure, of the over- and under-functioning spouses, could lead to marital stress–although  many of these couples stay together for the long-term. The second ‘problem marriage,’ in my view, though, is that of the rescue marriage, and oftentimes it’s harder for people to see the problem with […]

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Problem Marriages–The Over- and Under-Functioner

In my years in practice and as a social being I’ve come across a number of marriages that were, shall we say, to put it tactfully, not functioning optimally. Over time I came to see that such marriages fell, more or less, into four categories. And I found it a high likelihood that couples in […]

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