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Money Matters in Couple Relationships: Early Warning Signs

One of my jobs as an adviser to couples is to inquire about early warning signs. In the Oct. 13 New Yorker I read the story of one Mathew Martoma, whose long-held secret was outed when the feds arrested him, in front of his wife, on insider trading charges. Luckily for his marriage, that wife was […]

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Privacy, Secrets and Shame– On the Edge of Discovery

Benjamin Fanklin said many, many wise things, and this saying speaks to one of the simplest dangers of keeping a secret–the secret isn’t safe if more than one person holds it. “Three may keep a secret,” wrote Ben–“if two of them are dead.” It was this reality that turned Alan’s world into a minefield. Alan never […]

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What is the Difference between Privacy vs. Secrecy?

People tend to justify some inappropriate secret-keeping with the self-righteous claim that, “It’s no one’s business,” or–better yet–“It’s private.” So what is the difference between privacy and secrecy–and how do you know if you’re being private–which is okay–or secretive, which can cause so much collateral damage?. Privacy belongs only to you–and it is at your discretion […]

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Getting Taken to the Cleaners, the Poorhouse, or Worse–to Jail

As much as your friends and family would love to protect you, it’s really your own job to avoid being betrayed financially, as you’re the one who has all the clues. Be your own detective regarding financially improper or criminal behavior. But how do you read those clues, and what should you be looking for? […]

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